"When we die, we will turn into songs, and we will hear each other and
remember each other."

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Just to fill you in. . .

Recently, an old friend of mine was noticing some strange facebook posts from me. She finally put the pieces together and realized that I have finally come out of the closer. She proceeded to ask me some questions (which I loved) and I wrote her back. I decided to post my response to her questions here so that anybody can read them. I really have no shame and will answer any questions that anybody might have. I just want everybody to realize that I'm still the same person, just a lot more comfortable in my own skin.

My response to her questions:

Let's face it. I've pretty much always known. I just felt that it was wrong. I thought that if I was obedient it would just fall off like a scab and I would be normal eventually. I even remember back in fourth grade feeling like I thought other boys were cute and thinking that there must be something wrong with me.
I finally acknowledged that it wasn't going away last fall. I was playing the keyboard for Little Shop of Horrors in Magna and found somebody that I thought would be worth pursuing. I remember actually saying out loud "I'm gay" while I was driving home from the play one night.
I dated that guy for a while, and started slowly coming out to very close friends and to my family. I told my brothers on new years and they were very accepting (and not really surprised). I told my parents late at night on Valentine's Day. The whole family has been really great about everything.
As far as my spirituality is concerned, I don't feel any less spiritual. I just channel my spirituality a little differently now. I obviously have left the church, but I don't feel any hostility toward any of its members. I understand that (most) of their concerns stem from a deeply founded belief that I have "chosen" condemnation and that can be hard for a lot of people to understand. However, I know that God would never make someone feel guilty about who they are. I suppose I COULD try harder. . . ya know, find some poor, innocent girl, hurry her to the temple and continue to suppress whatever instincts I might be feeling, but the risk of snapping later in life is too great and I don't see the need to involve somebody else in that.
My coming out journey has been rather pleasant. In fact, sometimes I wonder why I deserve just an easy road. My family is super understanding, I haven't really lost any friends. I have a wonderful boyfriend who is a huge part of my life. It's unfortunate, but in our community, not a lot of young men get to have such an easy time with this. You probably weren't aware, but within the last month, there have been 3 young, gay, mormon boys who have taken their own lives. Devastating.
Thanks for taking an interest, and if anybody asks you what's going on, perhaps you can educate them a little.
I miss you, but I consider you a lifer in the friend department.
Love You,


Marye said...

Hey Kyle! I'm glad you've found what will make you happy. I have to say I don't understand what you've been living with, but I'm sure you've made the best decision for you! The only complaint I have is... Post more pictures please! :)I love you Kyle! Always have! ;)

Megan said...

Good for you Kyle. I'm happy that you can finally feel comfortable in your own skin, you deserve it! Keep the posts coming! :)

Becky Green said...

hoorah! i've officially been an influence in your more recent life!

Amanda Jo said...

Oh my heck Kyle! I've never been so happy for you! Love is all about who make you happy and a better person. Someone who makes you closer to God, nature, your family, your friends, but most of all, they make you a better you! It doesn't matter whether they are male or female. Stay the happy, fun Kyle we all loved in Jr High and High School!!! :)

Kyle Andrew said...

I love how the only people to comment so far are old friends from middle school. Go JPJ!

Amie said...

Love ya Kyle!

Jen said...

I know several guys who have had really difficult responses when they came out. I'm so glad you have so much love and support.

Danny said...

I want to leave a comment so I have to finally tell you I've blog stalked you-you put your link on FB though so I don't feel too bad. I'm so glad you are happy! I think it's great that your family has been so supportive.

Hailey Jones said...

i love you.