If Only I Took Steroids

Kyle is mad. Very Mad.
When Kyle signed up at Gold's Gym, he was under the impression that he wouldn't have to make his next payment until November 25th. Just to double check, Kyle even asked the girl at the gym when his next payment was due about two weeks ago. She confirmed that it was due November 25th.
My account was debited this weekend by Paramount Acceptance (Gold's Gym's spy name) and I am not pleased. It overdrew my account. When I called the corporate number to ask what is going on, she tried to tell me it is "in my contract." When I signed up for the account, the guy never said anything about my payments being automatically debited. Needless to say, I am a little annoyed.
I gave Gold's Gym the benefit of the doubt when I signed up. Working at a bank, I get a lot of complaints from customers who were debited without giving permission. I would venture to say that about 4 out of 10 of these circumstances involved Gold's Gym. This unofficial statistic was in the back of my mind while I was getting the hard sell from the rep at GG. I should have known.

The New Plan

Dear Friends,
As most of you know, my life is currently at a crossroads. I have a lot of options on my plate, but I'm having a hard time getting a grip on my silverware.
Not any more.
I have reached a decision. An important one. I have finally chosen a school and pinpointed when I will be going. It seems perfect. Now all I have to do is apply and get accepted.
The school I will be going to starting Summer of 2009 is . . . . Brigham Young University in Provo.
Now, this might come as a shock to some of you (cough-Landon-cough), but I feel right about this. When I first got home from the mission, my plan was to go to BYU. For some reason, I had a hard time committing to that plan. This last week, I was experiencing what I am calling a "higher sensitivity" thanks to my solo road trip. This is when it occurred to me that BYU is the best place for me to be.
So, I will continue to work for Wells Fargo and will eventually transfer down to Provo. Then, in the fall, my boys Steve and BigCat will be back from their missions and we will live happily ever after in what will easily be the most happenin place in P-town.
Thanks for caring.
Kyle
PS- Although I will live in Provo, I refuse to let that place get the best of me. I will still be liberal. I will still wear bright red neck-ties. And I will still refuse to jog outside.

Boy's First Baby Shower

Today, I made history.
I work with a lot of cool people. For example, my Service Manager, Darci, is probably the best "boss" anyone could wish for. She is just amazing. She is also pregnant. . . very pregnant.
Since my coworkers and I love Darci so much, we decided to throw her a Baby Shower. I know what you're thinking: Baby showers are not for boys. But do you know what I say to that? This is the new millenium.
So my fellow Lead Tellers and I set to work planning a Co-Ed Baby Celebration (we weren't allowed to call it a shower since that would repel the not-so-forward-thinking guys at work). I actually contributed quite a bit to the plans. This was surprising since I have never been to a baby shower. I did most of the shopping for food and supplies. I made the invitations. I even swept the porch of Katey's apartment so we could hold the event there. However, my greatest contribution was the activity. . .
I bought a bunch of onesies and baby t-shirts, and some fabric paint. Each guest at the celebration got to decorate a onesie for the baby. Some chose to put funny sayings such as "I'm not chubby, I'm 'phat'" and "Let's face it, it's time to call Grandma." Others decorated with smiley faces, and stars. Then there were the more original creations (all created by males): Jason turned his onesie into a cow. The bottom piece was painted red so when you unsnap it, it looks like the cows tongue. Joe put a "T-Stamp" on his. (A T-stamp is a special stamp we have to put on high transactions). I chose to make mine something that would remind Darci of me every time she saw it. I drew a french flag and wrote "oui oui" under it.
We also played candy bar memory and opened presents.
I was told repeatedly that it was one of the best baby showers the guests had been to. I am now considering "Baby Shower Coordinator" as a possible career move.
If any of you are pregnant, or know somebody who is, I would love to share my expertise throughout the shower planning process.

Trip Self-Discovery: Successful?

These last three days have been awesome. Here's what happened:
On Monday morning I woke up and hit the road. I go to Cedar City at roughly 11:41 am. I met my friend Kate at the Pastry Pub for some lunch. I ate the best turkey croissant I have ever had.
I then set out for Zion National Park. This is, by far, my favorite place on the planet. It was so cool to see the park alone. I met a lot of awesome french people and had some good talks. I also took some sweet pics (too bad my computer sucks or I could upload some).
Then it was off to St. George to settle down for the night. I got all checked in to my hotel. Then I hit the outlets. I found a sweet shirt/tie combo for only $30.
The next morning, I went to the St. George temple. After a session, I took more sweet pics.
Then I was back on the road, headed to Manti. On the way, I passed Cove Fort and decided to take a tour. It was so cool. I was the only person there other than the missionaries. I got the VIP treatment and was given my own tour. Again, more sweet pics were taken.
I arrived in Manti with enough time to head straight to the temple. The Manti Temple is definitely my favorite and I will hopefully be married there. The people of Manti are just so nice.
Then I drove to Ephraim for some really good pizza and bread-sticks.
The next morning, I woke up to take some more pics of the temple. Then I headed to Provo. I didn't have to be there until 2:30, but I got there at 11:30. So with three hours to kill, I went to the Provo temple. I was done there by 1:00 so I got my book out ("The Miracle of Forgiveness").
After some good reading, I decided to take more pictures. I finally got one with me in it. I probably looked like an idiot setting up the timer, pushes the button, then sprinting across the temple courtyard to get on my mark in time for the flash.
Then I went to the MTC to volunteer for a couple hours. I love missionaries and I still wish I was on a mission.
I'll be honest, I'm a little disappointed in the "self-discovery" results of my trip. I had a good time, and it was great to be alone for a bit. But, I don't feel more enlightened than I was before. The only decisions I reached aren't even heavy issues on my mind. I accidentally stumbled on a couple names for my unborn sons. Oscar Jack, and Oliver (middle name here). It wasn't a complete failure.

Day 1: Trip Self-Discovery

Well friends, tonight is the would-be first night of my self-discovery trip. Unfortunately, when I set off on my trip, a little bit of a blizzard blew in. So I decided to turn around. I plan on leaving tomorrow morning now.

Goodbye cruel world (I'll be right back)

Friends and loved ones,
Those of you who know me know how much I love solitude and independence. Tomorrow I am fulfilling a life long dream of going on a vacation. . . all by myself.
Just so nobody worries too much about me while I am gone, here is my itinerary:
Tomorrow (Sunday) night I well arrive in Cedar City where I will stay with some friends from college. I will wake up Monday and do lunch with some old school buddies. Then I will be heading further south to St. George.
On the way to St. George, I plan on stopping at Zion National Park to see some scenery. Don't worry, I am not going to do any long hikes by myself. I am brave enough, but not stupid.
After a couple hours in Zion I will continue to St. George. I will check-in to the Days Inn. (I have always wanted to stay at a hotel by myself.) I will probably spend the night reading and recording my thoughts in my handy-dandy notebook.
Tuesday morning, I will head to the St. George Temple for some long-needed recharging. Then I will get back on the road and head to Manti.
Hopefully I will get there in time to do some more temple work. I will eat dinner in Ephraim at Roy's Pizza (a.k.a. "Fat Jack's"). I will also make a stop at the Penny Candy Store to fill up on Fruitie's, SlapSticks, and Candy Tools. Then I will retire to my room at the Temple View Lodge in Manti.
Wednesday morning, depending on how awake I am, I will go to the Manti Temple again. Then I will head to the Provo MTC to do some volunteering with the french-speaking missionaries. Then I will head home.
I am pretty excited for this trip. I plan on doing a lot of soul-searching. I have a couple things that really need to be sorted out and this is when I plan on taking care of that.
Lots of people have asked that I check in frequently so they know I am okay. I will not do that. If you are concerned about my well-being, shoot me a text and I'll probably respond. Don't panic if it takes a while. Part of the purpose of this excursion is to be alone.
I love you all and will see you on Wednesday.

KySpace

I logged into my old MySpace account the other night and found all of my sweet poems that I wrote in 2006/2007. I thought some of you might like to read a couple so I think I'll periodically repost them here on my blog.
This one is my favorite one:

there once was a diver
who would fall in search of joy
only when he hit the water did he realize...

there once was a climber
who crawled in search of life
only when he scaled the summit did he realize...

there once was a writer
who slept in search of thought
only when he awoke did he realize...

...the diver, you see, found his prize at the floor
where someone had left it who needed it no more

...the climber looked down and he saw what he'd left
his climb was over. he took a clean breath.

the writer awoke and frantically scrolled
fragments of dreams that his mind couldn't hold

the diver cried
the climber died
the writer felt better, but kept it inside

Faith in the Midvale Emergency Response Team

As most of you know, this past weekend was General Conference. Thousands of skirts and slacks were spotted all over the valley. By Saturday night, the skirts were excused and the slacks gathered in Stake Centers to watch the General Priesthood Session.
This year, I attended the Priesthood Session at my friend, Landon's Stake Center. The Conference was going as usual. There were no surprises in the speakers' comments encouraging the respect of women, and avoiding pornography. I confess, I was starting to doze off.
While my head was nodding, I heard a strange breath from two rows in front of us. I looked up so see a man get very tense while turning to the man next to him with a look of terror in his eyes. He was having a seizure.
The commotion drew the attention of nearly all the Priesthood holders in the room and a small group helped the man without saying a word. I was amazed at the way they seemed to move together, almost like they were responding after years of drills. They helped him to the floor and continued to aid the man.
Many of the spectators were reaching for their phones when we all saw that one man already had his up to his ear. We all knew that the paramedics had been called.
They say that time moves slower at a time of crisis. I am not sure if that is what happened in that church. At one point, Landon turned to me and pointed out that the paramedics were taking a really long time.
Eventually, a lone paramedic woman strolled in carrying some equipment. She was followed by one or two of her colleagues.
I found the whole situation somewhat surreal. It is interesting to see the contrast in the response of the "normal" guys seated around the victim and the delayed response of the paramedics.
Granted, nobody knows if there was a more pressing emergency somewhere else.
Conference was generally a faith-promoting experience. However, this time around, I lost a little faith in the emergency response system in this community.